Humanitarian Socionics

Extinguishing relations - Intertype relations in Humanitarian Socionics

Extinguishing relationships are relationships of unstable distance: it is very difficult to establish the necessary psychological distance. This can be done only when the partners communicate together. The appearance of a third person destroys everything: a competition of reasoning (verbal functions) begins, sometimes escalating into heated arguments. No one wants to lose credibility in the eyes of listeners, because they are usually talking about the strong functions of partners.

In a relationship, you are initially impressed by the partner's manner of behaving in society, their cordiality, warmth. This contributes to the transition to a close distance. When communicating in a group, the psychological climate suddenly begins to change. The introvert gradually becomes alienated; the relationship gradually loses its warmth, becomes formal, and wariness appears. Both begin to regret in their hearts the previous transition to a trusting relationship. The extrovert feels misunderstood due to bias. This is not surprising, since the two of them seemed to have a very good understanding. The introvert extinguishes the activity of the extrovert: accusatory intonations appear in their voice, speaking sharply against the extrovert, criticizing him. The extrovert tries to respond in kind.

The extinguishing relationship vaguely resembles the alternation of semi-duality with revision. The extrovert is most likely in a more vulnerable position here. On the one hand, the extrovert feels as if "behind enemy lines": they perceive everything at their own expense, and fear a wrong step or exposure. On the other hand, they can't help but see that their partner is generally a decent and good person. Only a high level of culture in the partnership can help to avoid mutual accusations.